Hi there Nis, wow you’ve turned 18. The start of adult life, officially! You must be excited, anxious and nervous? So here are few things I’d love to share with you, that might be useful as you go ahead in life.
First and foremost, live in the moment. Life only gets tougher and complicated as you move ahead. The best thing you can do is enjoy what you are, what you have and what you do at the moment. Laugh, enjoy and dance as much as you can. You have got admission in Architecture. It doesn’t matter what the results are at the end of these 5 years but what matters is the memory and the journey you are experiencing.
Don’t be shy or scared to take part in events, competitions or college festivals. It’s probably the only chance you will get! That jam session that you are probably avoiding coz of your fear of letting lose and dancing in front of others? Well, that is what you will crave 15 years later.
Don’t be afraid of failing. Of redo’s in assignments. You have no idea about the kind of redo’s life might give you in the future. You have to become stronger. So what if you fail, get up and do it again. And again. Make sure you don’t lose even a bit of determination as you go. You are going to develop inner strength only when you know how to deal with these failures. Life is much more complicated and tough outside the walls of your college, school or home.
Be independent. You have to learn how to do things on your own or how to take your own decisions and own up for it. And how to face emotional setbacks, you can’t always depend on your parent or best friend or boyfriend.
Appreciate and try spending time with your parents. Do what you can to gather fun memories with them, while you can. I know you suddenly feel like you’ve got your freedom, to spend time with friends but remember there is someone at home who is waiting to have that one meal of the day with you. You will, one day get married and go away and not be able to eat even one meal together, in months(or years).
Be open to new experiences when you can. Learn different things. Open your mind and heart to accept that its okay to be different and have different choices than those around you. And be assertive enough to let people know. Only do what you love doing, that is the path to true inner happiness.
Give yourself credit for every little thing you achieve. You have been through a tough childhood, yet come so far. Life is tough, but you are a bloody fighter. Life might get tougher in the future,but you have no idea how much strength you have hidden inside. You are doing very well. Keep it up! I’m proud of you!
Get yourself checked regularly. I can’t stress more on that. It might seem stupid but go for regular gynecological tests. You will be much more prepared for the future. If you get married and feel you ain’t ready for kids yet, freeze your eggs. I know it may sound funny or weird but I can’t stress on the importance of it. You will thank me later.
This journey that starts today, will change you. And as difficult as it may seem, I want you to embrace this change and trust that this journey is necessary. With time, you will rebuild yourself, gain strength and create this new identity, more resilient, able to conquer everything you set yourself to achieve. With time you will learn how to cope with it, you will learn to embrace it as part of that new identity of yours and you will use it to grow as a human being.
Make the promise today, that as difficult as it’ll be to hear the news, you will not give up. You are so much stronger, you just don’t know it yet. You are young, just 18. Promise that you will use this challenge and transform it in a triumph. Promise that you will use this energy to make something big, to aim for the stars.
PS: Since the last one year or more, I am working on strengthening my inner self, working on my healing and achieving ultimate inner happiness, whilst being in the midst of life’s biggest problems. Keep a watch on this space for more such posts, straight from the heart. I am hoping they give you the strength to deal with your problems as well, no matter how big or small they may be.
Nisreen Akolawala 